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Nobody likes to be late. Important matters deserve respect. Imagine. You're on your way to the Wiggles audition for the (new) Black Wiggle. You've rehearsed your routine and even have your prop boat wheel ready. You're confident and looking good. But just as you're looking toward your bright future fate, in the guise of a boatload of Norwegians (that's a lot of Norwegians), take it upon themselves to share in your dreams. The only problem is that there's not enough dream to share.
What to do?
How better to spend the first day on the job than with a spot of jauntyness? Happy is as happy does as our man in flares makes his way to the Highland Queen. Oh what stories could the Queen tell if she would only release her secrets. With jaunty chaps like this on board there can only be a jolly time ahead.
What type of chap are you? Are you the kind who doesn't care or the kind who points as required, even when not asked? Getting this right is so important. As you may be called upon to demonstrate. At that point everything changes and the observer effect comes into play. Fear or pride might become your companions. They are friends you can well do without.
Strange things happen at sea apparently. If not strange but there clearly appears to be an over abundance of hot water and a lack of fabric softener below decks as the leading seaman’s jumper (sweater for you American types) seems to have gone through the hot and fast cycle one too many times. No wonder he is annoyed. Also calling someone a sprog is not very nice, particulary around all the seamen on deck. And just what exactly are those other three experienced hands doing? Working hard at looking busy by the looks of them. The leading seaman has a right to be a touch... grumpy.
When a tubby man in shorts wants the fire party there's only one direction they can head. When he wants them on the double it must be because he started the fire. With shorts like those it's surprising that it didn't happen sooner.
This is the type of fellow who would know more than his fair share of crashing barriers and shredding.
The ugly great sardine that gets around dwells deep in the fear of men. Some say it is only a myth, a mere story to scare young sailors in their Aran knit onesies. But beneath the turtlenecks the fear is real. The ugly great sardine knows no mercy. The ugly great sardine does not grant or asks for forgiveness. Chief knows this only too well.
Below decks things can get tight. Pause for thought...isn't it all below decks on a submarine?...thought over, continue. And when considering ordeals are there any pleasant ones? So when it comes to ordeals Chief Grimshaw must be facing something pretty tough. If only his name was Happyshaw or Estaticshaw things wouldn't be so bad.
Our three friends appear to be very much enjoying their ever so mildly lewd ditty. One, which no doubt, has been repeated with equal enthusiasm with each recital. Though it borders on lewd, it is not vulgar, ribald, crude, lusty, rude, belligerent, or nasty. Even though it would not take much to imagine that their colleagues from the vessels they are extolling would take umbrage concerning at the subject matter.
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