In times of crises...

It is always a fascination that trees have the ability to appear, both corporeal and arboreal, in times of crises. One tree is thought provoking or even comical given its placement. However a forest of them can be menacing. The irony is of course for a forest (or individual trees for that matter) to do anything suddenly would be quite the event.

There's no one else...

With cap and thought a man walks the streets. Grim is too an emotive word to describe this world and all others he is about to occupy. Yet, he walks where there is no one else.

Wiggles audition here I come.

Nobody likes to be late. Important matters deserve respect. Imagine. You're on your way to the Wiggles audition for the (new) Black Wiggle. You've rehearsed your routine and even have your prop boat wheel ready. You're confident and looking good. But just as you're looking toward your bright future fate, in the guise of a boatload of Norwegians (that's a lot of Norwegians), take it upon themselves to share in your dreams. The only problem is that there's not enough dream to share.

What to do?

Jaunty Jaunty

How better to spend the first day on the job than with a spot of jauntyness? Happy is as happy does as our man in flares makes his way to the Highland Queen. Oh what stories could the Queen tell if she would only release her secrets. With jaunty chaps like this on board there can only be a jolly time ahead.

The fact is...

Get enough facts together and the facts become clearer. The subtractive quality of facts are not reliant on the quality of facts. However when stepping away from facts, opinions may begin to take their place. Are counterfactuals facts?

The evil twin!

You know a story is beyond good when it uses the "it wasn't me/him/her it was my/his/her evil twin" as a plot twist. Normally people go as far to pull this one out after an afternoon of drinking soon after they move onto the rums. But to pull out the evil twin is also a pro-Nazi flying spy is really hitting a new found peak usually found in the midst of the inevitable tequila or mescal shots.
Irresponsible? Perhaps. 

Duh! You think so?

It could be just that Nazis are not very good team players. Sure there are bullets coming in through the cabin. Sure someone has to drive the plane around the sky. Sure someone else has to travel around backwards all the time. But, can't these two realise they're on the same team - despite how sick and twisted the ideology that brought them together? And here's the problem, teamwork or a lack of it tends to be self serving. It doesn't necessarily allow team members to look beyond the task at hand. So it's great for getting things done but not necessarily good at differentiating between right and wrong. So possibly it might be a good thing to shoot at sky Nazis, so that they might begin to question themselves. That can only be a good idea. 

Ain't nothing like a good plan.

Like good music a good plan is a thing of beauty. Just as a good inky panel full of shadows and strangled light is a beautiful sight. No denying the urgency. No denying the intent as words and image combine faultlessly. At this moment everything is going to work as planned. Without giving too much away things do go wrong after this planning session. But... it's more dramatic that way.

The Future is Here Now.

Perhaps due to being idealologically irreprehensible and and in possession of questionable military tactical sense, these crack troops appear hell bent on getting themselves killed.
I suppose it makes the post war reunions all that much more intimate and saves on the number of invitations that need to be sent around. See what happens when you have one eye on the future?

Meanwhile in Norway...

Forgetting Norwegians is never going to be a good idea and the energy devoted to such endeavours is easily misplaced and should be kept to a minimum. Hiding in the hold is not going to be helpful either. Looking for help, though admirable, is just an excuse.

No stranger to contempt.

Better off dead if the other chaps believe you are a shirker. The world would be a better off place if everyone did their bit. But no, some fellows just won't take a bullet for the team. Yet despite protestations from all sides emotions prove to be more derisive than decisive. 

Hidin' in a 'ole

There comes a time in every person's life where hole hiding becomes a priority. Forget about standing tall, taking it on the chin and all other cultural short hand comments for bravado. It can be dangerous out there. Standing up and up being counted is really not worth the effort, when you can just as easily be tabulated whether you are prone or supine. To whose advantage is it really, the counted or the counter?

When vriends are hard to find.

Swine or no swine, trusting a man with a groomed beard with a gun and who can't distinguish the the letter f from the letter v is always going to be a mistake.

The beard manages to pronounce every other consonant correctly and becomes agitated when questioned. Is he annoyed because he has been delayed in out Hipstering his Hipster friends (vriends) by taking his  bakelite headset and shortwave radio on the bus?

Despite his faults he certainly knows how to wear a cravat correctly and at least should be vanked vor not succumbing to vashion vearing as a poorly vormed noose. 

For the love of cross hatching.

 This is but one panel. The night sky is cross hatched. Some of the clouds are cross hatched. Even the Lancaster's panels are cross hatched. The ink work is sublime. This is a thing of beauty.

Have beard will run.

  There is more to a morning run than being mouthed off by some hip standing nonce in a four button single breasted jacket. There is the joy of going for a run with the chaps. There is the joy of running in cotton and wool - natural fibres are so much better for the skin, even though there may be a slight issue of dampness retention. But oh my it's good to get outside.

Giant tanks!

In this world of populist revisionist history it is refreshing to learn the truth. German might was created by a handful of giant tanks! Why were we not taught this in school? This would have to be the greatest conspiracy of all times. The facts are here.  No wonder the Allies had no chance. 

More mad poms

There's one sure way to distress an enemy and that is to be mad. If there's just one overlooked national character trait the Germans carry it is they don't suffer fools. If there's one thing the British appear to have in abundance is fools. When the two meet the encounter can only go one way.
The challenge for the British is, of course, to have their idiots in the right place at the right time. The only problem with this is if the idiots are winning everything, they'll come to expect a share of those winnings.
The consequences of these expectations are littered throughout history and are too numerous to mention here.

Don’t forget to point

What type of chap are you? Are you the kind who doesn't care or the kind who points as required, even when not asked? Getting this right is so important. As you may be called upon to demonstrate. At that point everything changes and the observer effect comes into play. Fear or pride might become your companions. They are friends you can well do without. 

Tight jumpers at sea

Strange things happen at sea apparently. If not strange but there clearly appears to be an over abundance of hot water and a lack of fabric softener below decks as the leading seaman’s jumper (sweater for you American types) seems to have gone through the hot and fast cycle one too many times. No wonder he is annoyed. Also calling someone a sprog is not very nice, particulary around all the seamen on deck. And just what exactly are those other three experienced hands doing? Working hard at looking busy by the looks of them. The leading seaman has a right to be a touch... grumpy.

Have monocle will go the biff!

Some fellows are happy to go the biff under any condition. Shirts on or shirts off it’s all the same to them. It is worth noting the lack of upper body attire should provide the hopelessly obvious hint that Australians are involved. Sadly the fit looking chap in the middle dealing with the hapless meaty buffons is an Englishman. However when it comes to showing the world to have at it he is not a shy man. Have monocle will wage war - against friend or foe - is the right type of chap to have on your side. Heaven forbid if he were one of the enemy.

Uber Double Dipping

Did you know that Uber now offer a ride sharing option for military armoured fighting vehicles? However, as usual, be aware of  surge rates at peak times. Also of note is the introduction of an aquatic service using landing craft (vehicle) for those who need a fast exit for their intercontinental travel. Uber has drawn criticism for charging customers for both carriage services at once. 
A spokesperson for the organistion pointed out that customers were free to pursue their invasion plans as they saw fit, and if the service could not meet market expectations then that would be the time to examine other strategies
A member of the consumer watchdog group, Overlord is Overpriced, who refused to be identified is quoted as saying, " as a consumer, at these prices, I feel like we're the ones being invaded."

Stupid Idea number 34

Here's a stupid idea in case you're bereft of any stupid ideas. Find yourself an equally stupid friend. Bulldozerjack a suitable peice of earth moving equipment. Load a substantial amount of explosives to the bulldozer blade. Drive directly towards a number of fellows trying to kill you with heavy machinegun fire by trying to put bullets inside you from a distance. You want stupid? You got stupid.