Trench Coat Trouble

Those naughty captains! What have they been doing? They must have done something really really bad if the C.O. needs to push his pencil into the desk, a clear sign of outrage by the commanding classes. You know things have really gotten severely out of hand when the phrase 'own good' is used in sentence. How bad can it be? Is one wearing Burberry and the other wearing Aquascutum? There are lesser crimes of course, but none greater than showing disunity to the men.