Cover of the Week War Picture Library 17 Commandos Die Hard

Before Bruce baby had a crack at it and made it his own - Die Hard belonged to another bunch of blokes. These guys are so tough they don't even need weapons to fight the enemy let alone a sneaky bloke called Hans. So when the going gets tough the tough clearly have the right idea about where they need to be.

For me the best member of this trio is the figure obscuring his face with his hand. Has he suffered a wound or is he merely making sure his tin hat is staying where it should? I enjoy the ambiguity whether it is intentional or not. Our friend in the middle has a fair degree of being manic about him, nicely supported by his colleague trying to restrain him.

This is a nice example of early War Picture Library cover artwork - so old that it is published by AP and not Fleetway. It doesn't have the edge of later pocket war comics - but it does carry charm, if that is the right word for it. So there is a story going on here. Why is the man in the middle being restrained? Why are their weapons on the ground and not in their hands? I can't quite pick the quality that pegs this as a pre 1960s piece of art but it clearly is because it was published in 1959. Perhaps it's a combination of the colour range and the rather flat faces. So in that context I'm going 8/10.

War Picture Library 31 Airborne

There's a small problem with War Picture Library 21 Airborne - it is a terrible story. It begins well enough and as it is published in 1959 there are many words to read. Older pocket war comics have a higher word density than later editions. You just have to pick up a Thriller Picture Library to see the depth of writing that is involved.

Airborne is principally the story of Private Frankie Small who enlists in the paratroopers. He manages to pass all the rigorous tests (few people make it through) yet he has an Achilles heal. Despite being the son of a barge owner he is terrified of deep water. This fact is introduced nicely into the story in an unexpected manner - which is great writing, his phobia is then used again to prevent him from jumping in at a critical point in the story, yet he over comes his fear when he really needs to and of course he saves the day. All of this is very well written and introduced and handled though out the story.

Yet I kept having a disconnect with Frankie. He is a veteran from another regiment. He passes all the paratroop tests required of him for entry into the Red Devils. He can gun down Germans and show no remorse - yet he acts and looks like a scared school boy.
The story travels well until the captain and sergeant get captured. The German general who is interrogating them can't help himself and does that thing that bad guys do and has to tells his captives of his overly complicated and meticulous plan to foil any counter attack. They must have a subject at German General Staff School called "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?".

Needless to say armed with the knowledge of these plans, the deep water fear finally overcome and with a huge amount (thankfully admitted) good luck everything works out in the end. There is a absolutely radiant inner glow from Frankie as he takes his rightful place amongst his peers.

So the problem is this...

The story starts so well and the more the story moves along the less it has to do with the promise made at the beginning. It has very little to do with the excellent cover artwork and introductory paragraph. There are also some truly dreadful boys own adventure moments that otherwise mar a story that had such a promising start.

Is it only me or do I really expect too much?

So much promise at the start...

Look at those groovy hats.

Yeah! Slippy!! You got it? I don't.

Frankie looks like he ate all the cream pies.

You could say they left without telling you.

Bullets won't hurt you pair of wimps. But I will!

It's a little known fact that Germans are actually afraid of rough looking men who shout out these kinds of words.

Brush with the enemy? He killed the lot of them!

Nice shadow on that wall.

I've shown Mr Squarehead before - but this time look at Mr Bonehead looking like he's doing something.

For an issue about paratroopers there are certainly some good drawings of tanks in this story. This is a Tiger in case you missed it...

...and I think this is a Cromwell.



A Humber Called Jane

This is the story of Jane the Humber. Jane likes nothing more than tearing around the battlefield having a good old blast.

See Jane drive fast.

Jane likes to go fast.

Explosions are all around Jane but she is not afraid. Jane likes explosions.

Her engines go vroom vroom, her guns go pow pow pow.

Even though Jane likes to fight that doesn't mean she doesn't like to be pretty. See her name painted on her front? See her painted clubs symbol too? Jane likes to fly her pennets as she goes vroom vroom and pow pow pow.

Mr Soldier likes to join in too. Can you see him with his gun? He is having fun. He shouts rat-a-tat-tat as Jane goes vroom vroom and pow pow pow. They are the best of friends.

Some very bad men get angry with Jane. But she doesn't care. She can go faster then them and shoot them with her gun. Mr Soldier doesn't like the bad men because they try and hurt Jane. He tells them to go away and he shoots them with his machine gun.

Mr Soldier and Jane are friends. They go vroom vroom pow pow and rat-a-tat-tat and have such wonderful fun together.